Today we have Black Sabbath's self-titled debut studio album Black Sabbath. Released in 1970, it is generally considered the first heavy metal album, for which it has subsequently gone on to be one of the most influential albums of all time.
What makes a bad album? Sometimes it's dull songwriting, poor execution, or lacking inspiration--these are generally the ones you are accustomed to me discussing. I mostly listen to musicians that I'm very likely to enjoy, which is why I seldom get to comment on another noteworthy alternative: it sounds really dumb, often because it was made by really dumb people. Tony Iommi, who only occasionally transcends the bullshit, will probably become a riff master, but his solos are ostentatious, directionless, and heavily dragged-out; bassist Geezer Butler chooses to write rudimentary horror lyrics because it's the easiest avenue to inspire wonder and awe in kids who never read in school; and Ozzy Osbourne, who gleefully embodies it all in his singing, sounds like the drunken loser Jim Morrison sometimes threatened to become off-stage--if Morrison was indeed one (he wasn't), at least his lyrics proved he wasn't an idiot too. All of which adds up to create and inspire the stupidest and most contemptable genre of all time, a feat scarier than the song "Black Sabbath." Yikes. D+
